Cullens' End: Contest Entry

This is for a contest for Anti-Twilight [link] for Cullens' End and funny. If reality wasn't in the way, then I'd do it sooner or later. Unless someone would already beat me to it.
In the book, I read that there are very few ways for vamps to die and starvation isn't one of them. Not even ONE of the Cullens die in the series! They just all live "Happily Ever After" it's just bull crap. So someone had to finish the job. I made myself a REAL vampire for this comic BTW. *Waits to get mauled by Twilight fans*
In case anybody lives under a rock here, the glowy creature I'm riding in the picture is a god-like pokemon named Arceus which belongs to Game Freak and Nintendo.

The Cullens belong to Stephanie Meyer.